By Grace Keating, LoKate Member
I was tasked with writing a blog post about losing multiple people close to me, and it seemed too perfect that I was heading to their favorite place as I received the email. I lost my dad to renal cell carcinoma on March 19, 2025. He was 69 years old. A month later I got pregnant with my first son, and we just knew that my dad had a hand in sending him to us. Since 2018, my mom has been battling from having a large right brain stroke from an aneurysm. The aneurysm kept getting larger, she kept getting weaker, and on November 26, 2025 she passed. She was only 65. I gave birth to my son on January 7, 2026, and jumping into motherhood without my parents was something I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
Remembering Anthony and Elisa
My dad, Anthony, was a quiet but silly man. He grew up riding motorcycles around town and spending his summers at the shore. He loved going for runs, reading murder mysteries, photography, and he truly enjoyed the simple things in life. My mom, Elisa, was quite the opposite to say the least. She was loud, hilarious and always cracking jokes to make people laugh. She once competed in a demolition derby, yet also loved to rot on the beach for hours. They met at a racquet ball club ski trip in 1980 and were married in Newark, NJ on September 17, 1983. They wanted a family more than anything but it wasn’t an easy process for them and by miracle had two kids by 1997. They were married for 41 years.
As I'm writing this, I'm sitting on our favorite beach in Seaside Park, NJ. We’ve been renting the same house for 30+ years, and despite my parents absence, my sister and I still made a point to vacation here. The second we walked into the house, we felt their energy and were letting ourselves feel every ounce of grief that came along the way. Every silly moment or first with my son came a wave of grief. We so badly wish they were here making more memories with us. Every walk up to the beach, my sister and I are reminded of my mom’s last day at the shore. We managed to get her in a beach wheelchair to spend a day with family in her favorite place. On our way back, my sister, mom and I stopped and took in the view. My sister and I sobbed without mom knowing. We somehow just knew it was her last time there – and it was.
Milestones without my parents
I think a lot of people expect me to start to feel “normal” again since it’s been over a year since my dad’s passing, but I think a lot of people forget that I'm still in the first year of my mom’s passing as well. We just celebrated her first birthday on the other side and have yet to celebrate their first anniversary without both of them. This past year has felt so strange, as I usually have a pile of gifts for everyone, and now suddenly cards, gift bags and plans are missing. The birthday without them hurts enough but those little moments of realizing that I don’t have to stop at the store for flowers or a card anymore hurt just as much.
Grieving while becoming a mom
I am very grateful to have brought my son into this world, but every first he experiences, I wish I could call my parents. People love to say things like “Your parents held your son in heaven before he was born!” and it stings because I would much rather them hold him here. They would have loved him so much. I can’t even believe they aren’t here to meet him. We had a nice day on his 6 month birthday and when it came time to put my son to bed, I lost it. I sobbed for my parents and I begged the universe to give me answers as to why this happened.
Honoring my mom and dad who died
When you lose someone, you hear a lot of people say, “I’m so sorry, please let me know what I can do,” and the honest answer is not much. What I want the most is for them to be here and not be sick. To babysit my son while I'm at dinner. To join us on family vacations. To answer my texts or calls. To laugh at a dinner table with. I want them back and no amount of thoughts or prayers will do it. On the other hand, one of the only things that softens my grief is knowing that they are still on people’s minds. I love when friends or family tell me silly stories from the past or that they saw a gorgeous sunset and thought of my parents. I know that they will never be forgotten in my mind, but it terrifies me to think that others might slowly forget about them the longer time passes.
At the end of the day, there’s no going back to life before this so we just have to keep moving and hope that one day we will be reunited again. I miss them beyond what anyone could ever imagine.
I love you always, mom and dad.
Where can I get grief support if I am grieving the death of my parents?
Kate's Club empowers children and teens, their families, and young adults facing life after the death of a parent, sibling, caregiver or someone important to them. The organization builds healing communities through recreational and therapeutic group programs, education and advocacy. Since its founding in Metro Atlanta in 2003, Kate’s Club has served thousands of individuals who are grieving, through both member and outreach services. Kate's Club offers services in Metro Atlanta, Southwest Georgia, Northeast Georgia and Coastal Georgia.