Love. Appreciation. Remembering.
In honor of mom, and all moms.
My mom is 84 years old, and is a grieving child. My maternal grandmother died at age 38. When she was just 18, my mom stood in her nursing student’s cap and uniform and held her mom’s hand as she took her last breath. She put her career on hold and moved home to help her dad take care of her younger brother for two years.
When moms die, the lives of their families change forever.
My mom is now living with a terminal illness. She is spending a lot of time reflecting on her mom’s life and death. I have listened to her and cried with her, and I recognize the teenage girl in her that is still grieving. I love her, and I love my grandmother whom I never met. Love is like that, true love without ever meeting her in person.
Moms alive, moms who have died, moms who are grieving the deaths of their children, moms who have sacrificed and made decisions to put others first, and moms who have made poor decisions and caused others pain…this is the spectrum of who we honor on mother’s day.
If you are a grieving mom or you are grieving your mom…take time to honor and remember by appreciating what was, and discovering what still is.
If you are a mom who has children alive and well, and your own mom is alive and well…take time to smile in appreciation of the beauty and love around you, and find ways to forgive and make space for appreciation if you need to.
Not everyone has sweet and loving memories of their mom or the mothering they have received; this is important to acknowledge on mother’s day weekend. There are people in our lives who have mothered us, nurtured us, and been like mothers to us…we honor and remember them too.
If I could take away the pain of grief that my mom has lived with for 66 years, I would. I don’t yet know what it will feel like to grieve my mother’s death. I can only stay open to the deepest and strongest part of me that knows that I will have to discover that experience day by day. I cannot prepare for it, or avoid it, or overcome it. I will, however, with the support of our Kate’s Club community, survive it.
Happy Mother’s Day to Joy Berg, my mom,
and to all who are to be celebrated this weekend.
If you take a flower in your hand
and really look at it,
it is your world for the moment.
(Georgia O’Keefe)
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