Kaiden: Honoring my grandma who died and being open about feelings of grief
One of Kaiden’s favorite memories with his grandma is playing cards together. Their game of choice was Go Fish, and he would always cheat.
“No,” he’d lie when she asked if he had a three, even though he did. Somehow, even with a strategy he believed was surefire, Kaiden always lost Go Fish.
His grandma was more than his Go Fish final boss. She was the person he would talk to most and the only person he talked to about his feelings. Kaiden was 10 when she died and experienced a new slew of difficult emotions while grieving – depression, sadness, hopelessness – yet she could no longer be his listening ear.
At school and at home, Kaiden tended to keep his feelings to himself. He had other close friends and family, but he didn’t know how to share his complicated emotions with them.
Then he went to Kate’s Club in for kids' grief support in Athens, GA.
“I remember feeling nervous because I never talked about my feelings a lot. I was nervous to go and tell a bunch of random people my feelings,” he said.
However, at Kate’s Club Kaiden realized that he wasn’t alone. Everyone else there understood from experience how he felt, and it made it easier to open up.
Over time, he realized it was okay to talk to his trusted friends and family about his feelings of grief. Now, as a grieving teen, he can share big and complex feelings with his mom, sister, and other Kate’s Club members.
“Before Kate’s Club, I tended to bottle up my emotions and deal with them. I learned how to talk about them to people and became more comfortable talking to other people about how I felt.”
Skylar: Remembering my grandma who died
When seven-year-old Skylar’s grandma died in January, just driving by the grave could make her cry. She was upset and angry thinking about all their favorite memories together.
She would often stay with her grandma and spend time together watching videos on YouTube and Tikok. They ate strawberry and vanilla ice cream – strawberry is Skylar’s favorite and vanilla was her grandma’s favorite.
At her first Kate’s Club program, Skylar was scared to go inside. There were so many people there, and she didn’t know anyone. However, some music drew her out of her shell enough to work on her Memory Tile – the first project every Kate’s Club member does.
Members trace their hands, write their person’s name in the middle, and decorate it in honor of them. Often it’s the first time a member says their person’s name again after the death.
Skylar decorated hers with stickers of lollipops, the beach, and of course ice cream.
Skylar still misses her grandma and all the things they used to do together, like getting cozy under the covers and listening to music like Zara Larsson together.
However, she has learned to cope with her grief better. She is able to go to visit her grandma’s grave, and she even tells her family that it is okay to grieve.
Meagan: Honoring my grandparents who died
Meagan’s personal grief story started a day before she graduated from UGA. Her mom called to share that her grandma had died of a stroke. The weekend was a blur of driving back and forth between Athens and home, staring up at the fireworks during the commencement ceremony and thinking about her grandma who would have been there, and scrolling her friends’ celebratory Instagram posts from the couch at her aunt’s house while she listened to her family plan the funeral.
The next winter, her grandpa died while she was in grad school, and the next fall her other grandpa was diagnosed with dementia. Her family coped with that for three years before he died too. For a long time, all she could think about was death and dying, yet she didn’t feel like she could talk about it with anyone. She often thought that everyone’s grandparents died, so she shouldn’t feel so affected.
It wasn’t until she started working at Kate’s Club that she realized that wasn’t true. Grief after anyone dies is not only completely normal, but can be very overwhelming, even if it’s expected. In fact, thinking it’s wrong to feel grief can often make it worse. As a Kate’s Club team member, it means a lot to her to help provide grief support for kids and grief support for young adults in Georgia.
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Kate's Club empowers children and teens, their families, and young adults facing life after the death of a parent, sibling, caregiver or someone important to them. The organization builds healing communities through recreational and therapeutic group programs, education and advocacy. Since its founding in Metro Atlanta in 2003, Kate’s Club has served thousands of individuals who are grieving, through both member and outreach services. Kate's Club offers services in Metro Atlanta, Southwest Georgia, Northeast Georgia and Coastal Georgia.