Going to the grocery store, talking about her friends, and taking destination-less drives. These are what Jackie misses the most about her dad, the quiet moments that live between holiday traditions and grand gestures. The day-to-day of a life shared.
Jackie’s dad died six years ago, but his character comes to life when she shares her memories of him.
Community was important to Jackie’s dad, especially with his church. He could be quiet but an incredible listener. He was also very social and always wanted to bring people together and spend time with them.
He loved board games and brought them to every church event or social gathering, even when no one wanted to play with him.
He would go out of his way to help others, such as picking up elderly members of the church for service every Sunday, even though others lived closer and could give them rides.
He always made sure that everyone in his life felt valued and supported, and he would go out of his way to drive Jackie to hang out with her friends. It was important to him that she felt like she had her own community.
“Whenever you needed anything, he would always be there,” Jackie said.
Experiencing the death of a father as a teenager
Jackie was 17 when her dad died. She went to boarding school but kept in close touch with her dad. She describes him as her go-to person for all of high school’s ups and downs, from serious moments to some that make her laugh now, like miscommunication with friends or wishing for a boyfriend.
In 2018, Jackie’s dad started coughing, and for a while doctors couldn’t figure out why. He was eventually diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis and doctors thought he would have three to five years, but instead died two months later.
Jackie said there was already “a lot going on” at school when her dad got sick, so it was all overwhelming – visiting him over spring break, hearing a few days later that he died, coming home for the funeral.
The power of supportive friends when you’re grieving
The year was, in Jackie’s words, “tumultuous,” but the grieving was easier with a community behind her. The day her dad died, people at school offered to buy Jackie her favorite meals. Two of her church friends came over that night, and they shared M&Ms together.
She also remembers a friend who texted her every day after her dad died.
“I don’t remember what she said, but it was nice that she was always there for me,” Jackie said.
Just like the little moments she remembers with her dad, Jackie is fond of the small, connective moments she shared with friends while grieving. Their gestures were not always grand, but they wove together in a supportive community, where Jackie knew she was never alone.
Looking for a new community at Kate’s Club
After high school, Jackie attended college in California. She recently graduated and moved back to Atlanta, GA where she grew up.
It’s times like these when Jackie especially misses her dad and wishes he could be there to see more of her journey. She wishes he could have seen her graduate high school and college. Jackie is a musician, and her dad helped her with her first “terrible” songs, but now he hasn’t heard some of the best ones she made after he died.
As she tackles a new phase of life as a young adult, Jackie also finds herself missing the community she had in high school and college. During school, someone was always physically there to support her, but now her network is spread across the states on their new chapters.
In those quiet moments, Jackie decided to build her Atlanta community. She ran into Kate’s Club, a Georgia-based grief organization, on Google and signed up for their young adult program LoKate.
She joined recently and looks forward to connecting with people who understand what it’s like to grieve someone important to you.
Learn more about the young adult grief support program at Kate’s Club in Georgia
Kate’s Club empowers children and teens, their families, and young adults facing life after the death of a parent, sibling, caregiver or someone important to them. The organization builds healing communities through recreational and therapeutic group programs, education, and advocacy. Since its founding in metro Atlanta in 2003, Kate’s Club has served thousands of individuals who are grieving, through both in-house and outreach services. Kate's Club offers services in Metro Atlanta, Coastal Georgia, Northeast Georgia and Southwest Georgia.
LoKate is the young adult grief support program at Kate's Club. The program provides young adults ages 18-30 the opportunity to connect with others who are also facing life after the death of someone important to them.